Threesomes, Foursomes and Moresomes

While group sex might seem contrary to your ideas about intimacy, read this and think again

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Dr T J Jordan

When you love someone very deeply, when your relationship feels complete and thrives on intimacy, trust and commitment, what do you hope for your partner?

I hope for my partner’s happiness, and for him to have a fully lived life including whatever he has wanted to do but has not yet experienced. If I can give him what he thinks he might want, I might be likely to contribute to his sense of a fully lived life. And that includes learning about and possibly living out his sexual fantasies. Together. With pleasure and warmth, without leaving him feeling ashamed or embarrassed about his curiosity or his unexplored sexuality.

Like with many other things, most of us live in cultures that frown upon group sex (ie anything other than two people engaging in what we call plain vanilla sex. Do we really even know what we mean by plain vanilla?!?!). If we frown so much on multiple partners at the same time, why is so much porn filled with groups of people in sexual activities?

There are cultures in which no big deal is made of what we call adultery, cultures where no such taboo exists. There are cultures that begin celebrations with…