The Shocking Intimacy of Holding Hands

Dr T J Jordan
4 min readMay 27, 2022

Hand-in-hand contact is profoundly powerful in telling the world we’re together, keeping us healthy, and readying us for sex.

Photo by Dương Hữu on Unsplash

By Dr T J Jordan

Holding hands is connected to both emotional and physical intimacy. We don't hold hands when we're angry. We find holding hands with those we don't love distasteful. And we do hold hands when we warmly welcome someone into our personal space.

Hands are one of the most sensitive parts of the human body. When we make skin to skin contact with the hands of those we love or desire, our bodies release endorphins, including the “cuddle hormone” oxytocin.

This surprisingly satisfying contact is acceptable across social situations. It reduces pain and anxiety, and strengthens relationships. Holding hands is powerful in alleviating some of the distress and hyperviligence that accompany PTSD and CPTSD.

When we hold hands with our romantic partners, our brains go easy on our stress responses by reducing the amount of negative, stress hormones we release.

Dr T J Jordan
Dr T J Jordan

Written by Dr T J Jordan

Passionate about sexualities, masculinities, relationships, intimacy, mental health, CPTSD , animals, growth, psychology, and exotic locations.

Responses (23)

What are your thoughts?

Yes, the studies are captivating! MRIs have been done with couples who are holding hands. If you are interested, look for the TED talk on this topic. He mentions the neurological mirroring.

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Thank you so much for sharing your intimacy! How wonderful that you continue to find ways to connect!

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I have been on crutches for the past number of years which excludes holding hands when walking with my partner. Early in that period I felt our intimacy falter until we started holding hands in bed as we fall asleep.
Age and disability has removed or…...

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