The Near-Fatal Attraction of Love Bombing

Dr T J Jordan
10 min readJan 30, 2022

The recipient, and even the doer, can be damaged by this unhealthy, abusive, and destructive attempt at connection.

(Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash)

By Dr T J Jordan

People love bomb for two main reasons:

1. They experience overwhelmingly intense emotions they don’t or can’t manage responsibly, often a sign of poor mental health.


2. They can.

Sometimes they also are lonely, and believe that they finally have hit the relationship jackpot with a potential new partner.

Love bombing is a trap that can be set for and by all genders. Getting out of such a connection is traumatic.

Finally we are beginning to share experiences of this recently recognized form of abuse. This kind of connection is confusing because love bombers often believe they have only good intentions — and those being bombed often are unprepared for these behaviors to be signals of emotional danger.

It is possible to fall in love with a new partner at the first contact. Science informs us that an initial connection can happen in minutes and can go beyond infatuation into an amazing lifetime relationship.

Love at first sight is a real thing. When we love, we often feel a need to possess. It’s painful to love intimately and to feel separation of any kind.

But emotionally healthy people understand that the need to merge is a normal drive toward intimacy, and that total merging of separate beings is impossible. We learn to enjoy feeling desire for what we never can possess completely.

All humans who are not sociopaths are susceptible to feeling possessive as well as jealous when in love. These emotions are normal. Their complete absence is diagnostic for narcissism at least. sociopathy at worst.


Sometimes people fall into the particular pattern of obsession-compulsion called love bombing. This is a miserably uncomfortable feeling that begs the one who is bombing for release.

Though most of us feel a bit obsessed with our partners when we’re in an intimate relationship, we…



Dr T J Jordan

Passionate about sexualities, masculinities, relationships, intimacy, mental health, CPTSD , animals, growth, psychology, and exotic locations.