The Four Dimensions of Intimate Love

Dr T J Jordan
4 min readNov 28, 2022

There are four important dimensions on which we can chart every one of our romantic connections.

Photo by Irina Iriser on Unsplash

By Dr T J Jordan

One way to understand how we bond so deeply with certain others is through a better understanding of love’s dimensions. Sometimes we go through a process that starts with something we call chemistry which can lead us into the farthest reaches of intimate loving.

Only in the fullest extent of intimate loving do we intensely engage all four of our love dimensions. When we have the magnificent opportunity to engage in this way, we experience the profoundest connection. Nothing ever seems the same afterwards.

Although we experience the love of our children, our friends, and our pets, we must always leave behind some of our love dimensions in these situations. We have only rare opportunities to be sexually, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually bonded with one other human being.

Four Dimensions

To feel truly fulfilled, we need to engage our body, our brain, our heart, and our soul. If even one of these ingredients is omitted, we continue to yearn hungrily for completeness.

The four dimensions can be thought of as comprising a profile of connection. The extent of our engagement on each dimension changes over time, with life challenges and personal growth often impacting our loving.

But as long as we once engage completely, we learn how to steal heaven.


The poet Novalis said that we touch the divine when we lay our hands on the human body. Our bodies give us sexual attraction, erogenous zones, and our magnificent senses. It is through our bodies that we learn the face and the form of desire.


From the ancient Sumerian love poems through Shakespearean verses and modern Valentine's Day traditions, we somehow agree (in our emotions if not in our rational minds) that it's always…



Dr T J Jordan

Passionate about sexualities, masculinities, relationships, intimacy, mental health, CPTSD , animals, growth, psychology, and exotic locations.