Our Attempts at Love Make Us All Wounded Warriors

Dr T J Jordan
4 min readSep 9, 2022

But those who are brave enough to have tried love can learn to wear their scars proudly.

Photo by Tirza van Dijk on Unsplash

By Dr T J Jordan

Some of the most common – and most important – struggles people have brought to my attention are their struggles to love and be loved. There are no age, gender, or orientation limits on who gets hurt from attempts at love, and no restrictions on who tries.

Nothing else seems to wound us quite so much as love, yet there is nothing else that seems so compelling or essential. Love has such power to wound because it's not limited to one area of our lives, as are our careers and educations. Love has everything we are at its disposal.

There are no protections powerful enough to prevent any of us from suffering the stings of loss or rejection. And trying to beat the pain through avoidance results in the tragedy of unfulfilled lives. Without love in our lives, we go to our graves wondering: is this all there is?

Failure and Rejection

We all crave connection. We know that humans have craved intimate love at least since the dawn of recorded language. Without love, we fail to thrive.

But finding the closest match to a soulmate to love us is terribly difficult.

We all learn imperfect models of attachment during our childhoods because even the best parents are imperfect humans. We try to make connections in our limited social worlds during our early childhoods, but we don't quite know how to fit our friendships into the intimacy needs which have not yet ripened. During adolescence, we mess up sex, we bleed with rejections, and we learn the awful lesson that love seems to be contingent on how we look or what we achieve. We learn to measure ourselves in the…

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Dr T J Jordan

Passionate about sexualities, masculinities, relationships, intimacy, mental health, CPTSD , animals, growth, psychology, and exotic locations.