My Very Unusual Divorce

Dr T J Jordan
5 min readAug 27, 2021

The before, during, and after were unlike any others I have heard.

(Photo courtesy of Pixabay)

By Dr T J Jordan

We sat next to each other in the courtroom, each of us sobbing uncontrollably. His Honor repeated the question again, “Are you both sure about this?” We nodded in tandem because we were well beyond speech.

After twenty years, we were sure, though it seemed perhaps for all the wrong reasons.


When I was fifteen years old, I was thrust into the worlds of love, sex, kink, and heavy BDSM within a time warp of twenty-four hours. No, I did not marry that child-man. He required “twenty-four sevening” in his BDSM which was not a way I could live.

Like many other distinctive events in my life, that initial grand passion began in Manhattan, where anything I wanted could be had at anytime of day or night, within mere walking blocks of my home.

Should anyone doubt the capacity of the young to experience genuine love, I am evidence that the Romeo and Juliet brand happens and can persist for life. That boy/man never married, nor did he live with anyone else. I did. I married, loved, and lived with other men.

Three years after I entered the unusual world that existed far beyond that of my peers, I went to a college dance where I met the young man who would become my second grand passion as well as my first husband.

That young man, whom I will call J, struck the chords of new love again. You see, I recognized love because I had already been in love with someone else for years by the time I met J.

He was a romantic by nature. We spoke of art, music, and literature on the first night, while others gyrated on the dance floor. He was intelligent and interesting. I noticed that he was attractive, tall and dark haired with deep dark eyes and a soft mouth.

For the two and a half years before we married, we spent every weekend together, making love and talking about serious, beautiful things. We read poetry and listened to operas as well as to hard rock. We talked of Thomas Mann, Herman Hesse, and the relative merits of various European languages.

Dr T J Jordan

Passionate about sexualities, masculinities, relationships, intimacy, mental health, CPTSD , animals, growth, psychology, and exotic locations.