Let It Be: When the Theme of Life Is Loss

We each engage with the experience of loss the way we do most other things…

Photo by Ian Taylor on Unsplash

By Dr T J Jordan

Throughout our lives, we say goodbye again and again. We wave farewell to our earlier developmental stages and to the friends who were present during those times. We bid adieu to our families of origin as we set out on our independence, and sometimes we say farewell to our partners. Finally — in one way or another — we say goodbye to everything as we depart our mortal lives.

It seems that we’re always saying goodbye to someone or something. We learn that we must say goodbye to parts of ourselves — our physical prowess, our youthful beauty, and sometimes even our minds.

We realize that eventually we all lose everything.

But how we “do” loss is a profound reflection of our personality, our resilience, and our courage. It is a deeply rooted statement about who we are on our deepest levels.

The Lessons of Loss

Life is a chain of losses, a recurring theme of disconnection. Learning how to “do” loss is one of those unavoidable life challenges.

Loss is a subjective experience that is colored by the context in which it is experienced. Loss is also a complex emotional event. Depending on the distance between us and what we’re losing, the emotional cost of our losses varies.

Our dominant reactions to loss include: shock, anger, disappointment, sadness — and love. Those who have loved well also seem to handle loss well — perhaps because they have lived emotionally fulfilling lives.

Loss can make it easier for us to find our centers. When the drama gets real and beyond our control, we have an easier time separating our internally constructed storms from the rest of life. We gain perspective.

This is what makes us appreciate life and our relationships so much more after a loss or a near…