Defensive Dating — A Challenge for Every Age and Gender
When we’re looking for love, we need a dose of authenticity as well as some self protection.
By Dr T J Jordan
Dating is a dangerous game. Our tender minds and hearts get wounded by rejection — and we’re confused about when to engage our bodies. We try to play the game well — but we tire of gamesmanship when we’re seeking long term love.
Knowing when to protect ourselves and when to be vulnerable is a very difficult challenge regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation. We need authenticity but we also need safety as we search.
Without authenticity, we cannot be “seen” by our potential partners — and they will be unlikely to let us see them. When we hold ourselves back, we transmit a silent signal of danger — and everyone catches the “high alert” message.
But if we’re using our emotional intelligence well, we know that reveals should happen at a skillful pace — neither everything all at once nor nothing at all. We can enjoy the process of opening the lotus thoughtfully.
