Member-only story

Are You a Sexually Submissive Male?

Dr T J Jordan
4 min readAug 15, 2022

--

Even if you have lived according to prevailing standards for traditional masculinity, you might consider sampling this other flavor of erotic pleasure.

Photo by Maria Vlasova on Unsplash

By Dr T J Jordan

How would you feel if:

Your female lover (instead of you) took the role of initiating sex?

You could give up trying to figure out how and when to give her pleasure — and focus instead on receiving it?

You could be comfortable surrendering to her the responsibility for making sex great?

Of course, being sexually submissive doesn't mean always taking a passive role. And it certainly doesn't mean submitting to a partner's wishes beyond the shared sexual experience. It does mean partitioning lovemaking time to explore a different, deeply touching, bold and emotionally risky dynamic that runs counter to what men are "supposed" to be doing.

For men, being sexually submissive means rebelling against artificial notions of masculinity and mustering the courage to become a different kind of sexual explorer.

Some people "switch" between dominant and submissive, while other people need to submit only sometimes. But the pleasures of "subspace" are given only to the submissive partner, who actually holds his own special power for setting limits in the dominant/submissive (D/s) sexual experience.

All sex is a power exchange. Assuming dominant and submissive roles in the playroom simply makes the power dynamic explicit. We can work through many of our hidden wishes to take and to be taken in an explicitly agreed-upon version of sexual power exchange.

Women process being wanted by men as evidence of desirability. By assuming a submissive role in the power exchange, men can be "taken" in ways that permit them to feel desired and desirable, appreciated instead of restricted only to appreciating their partners. Men can learn to feel beautiful.

The D/s experience highlights the…

--

--

Dr T J Jordan
Dr T J Jordan

Written by Dr T J Jordan

Passionate about sexualities, masculinities, relationships, intimacy, mental health, CPTSD , animals, growth, psychology, and exotic locations.

Responses (13)

Write a response